«[ LilyLeilana.com ]»

Before I auditioned as a stripper, I was warned by a few friends and other dancers to prepare myself for the huge array of stupid questions I would constantly be asked on a nightly basis.  “Would you go out with me?  Can I have your number?  Do you do ‘things’ outside the club?”  I remember thinking to myself that there’s NO WAY girls could get asked these types of questions all the time.  Guys can’t be that desperate!

Boy, was I sorely mistaken.

You will get asked the strangest questions of your life, I am serious.  The key is to stand your ground and never falter.  If you don’t want to give your number out to people, DON’T (and don’t feel bad for saying “no.”)  If you want to build a clientele list but don’t want to give out your personal number, download an app that gives you a free texting number.  I have an Android phone and I use the Pinger Text Free app.  Highly recommended.

I never date customers.  Ever.  There are so many problems with this and some girls may disagree with me here but seriously, to avoid drama and future problems, just don’t do it.  Keep a customer as a CUSTOMER and make sure they know that if they start asking you out.  Make it a point to tell them that dancing is your job and it’s not your intention to meet men at your place of business.  I always joke and tell guys I would never date someone who has seen me half naked before knowing my favorite color and what I went to school for.

If a customer ever asks you if you’re dating someone or married and you are, tell them “yes.”  Sooooo many girls lie about this thinking it will affect their money but here’s the honest to God truth; if that customer stops tipping you because you’re involved in a relationship, they’re seriously not worth it (and neither is their money).  If you lie about it and lead them on, they will definitely come on to you because they are looking for single girls.  This lie is going to keep growing until they eventually find out the truth (from you or another co-worker) or you end up cheating on your loved one.  This isn’t worth it and it destroys lives & families!  The majority of the men that come into strip clubs are there for the show and the company, not to date you.  Sure, a lot of guys will ask and joke around about it but I know for a fact that well over half of them will still tip you even if they know you’re involved with someone.  You also have every right to tell them you’d rather not discuss your personal life at work.  Overall message here:  if a customer stops tipping or won’t tip you because you’re in a relationship or refuse to reveal secrets of your personal life with them, they are not worth it in the long haul.  This is *INCREDIBLY* difficult for girls to see (especially new girls) but please trust me on this one.  Experience has taught me well.

Never, ever agree to activities outside of the club.  It’s easy to get wrapped up in the money & compliments & “new girl stripper fame” when you first start, especially when guys promise you things.  Trust me when I say they have used that line before… many, many times… probably on other girls you work with, too!  You are worth more than any amount they are offering you and if you ever do meet someone outside the club, don’t ever go alone and be sure to tell a million people where you’re going.  But I wouldn’t recommend this.  Period.  Stay a stripper at your club.  When you walk out those doors at night, let your stripper persona stay there until the next night you return.  “Lily” gets shut in every night I leave; locked in with the costumes, shoes and everything else that makes her who she is, sleeping in the darkness, awaiting my return the following shift.

Some girls go on lunch dates with customers, go shopping, or even go on elaborate trips with them.  I have met customers of mine before for lunch and one took me shopping once.  But I need to stress two important things:  1) I ALWAYS had someone with me and 2) I made it very clear that I was not doing anything illegal in exchange for money.  Both times I did this it was with two customers whom I had known for years.  Literally… three years.  I would never ever randomly meet someone I had just met the night before.  Building rapport is important with me.

I wish more ladies I worked with would stay classy.  When I say that, I mean this:  truly classy strippers are rare these days and that really upsets me.  I will defend this profession until the day I die but the raunchy girls constantly giving the rest of us a bad name are the ones I can do without.  Remember you’re a lady as well as a F-A-N-T-A-S-Y to the men you meet.  Keep the work at work and your personal life separate.  Never throw away your morals for money, ever!  I don’t care how much they’re offering you; you’re better than that!  Mind your manners, treat people with respect and always, ALWAYS act professionally.

I have seen this profession poison many girls.  I’ve seen bright-eyed college students start dancing to pay for school only to drop out later on due to newly found drug addictions.  I’ve seen single moms come audition to help support their children only to end up prostituting and letting sleazy guys fondle them in the back for a buck.  I’ve seen seemingly innocent young women decide to give this job a try only to end up raging, sloppy alcoholics who end up gaining a large amount of weight because of it.  Psyches get broken down, bodies get worn to bits.  Stripping is an incredibly hard job, physically and emotionally & it’s sad that it can get under your skin in such a negative way.

If you become a stripper, set your goals and follow through with them; the benefits you’ll reap are indescribable.  You can make a small fortune if you are smart and business savvy.  Do your research and set your boundaries.  Never give in to peer pressure.  Know who you ARE and what you WANT.

Girls — be strong, stay ladies, stay classy.  It will be worth it in the end, I promise you that.

Best list of sites for stripper clothes & shoes:  http://www.lilyleilana.com/buy

It’s almost summer time and while most people are excited, this ‘lil stripper is already starting to panic.  Summer is the worst season to be working in a strip club.  Actually, any month starting with a “J” is painfully slow but I digress.

The temperature is amazing now and everyone just wants to be outside enjoying themselves, especially in Colorado!  Our club slows to a halt starting mid-May and I am definitely not looking to the boredom that follows.  I guess I better fill up my Kindle with good reads to keep myself busy on super slow nights.

I really want to talk to the owner and see if we can get some good promos going.  Anything to attract customers would be a godsend!

Mack^* is an elderly man who has been visiting the club I work at for years, well before I began working there. He’s lost all of his teeth except one lonely upper incisor which never fails to distract you when he opens his mouth to speak.

He’s an excellent tipper, always sliding twenty dollar bills across the table to me in the middle of our conversations. I always pause, smile, say “thank you,” and let him continue his ramblings.

As an ex-military sniper (or so he says), the stories that poor from this man’s lips are both interesting yet disturbing. It’s obvious his mind isn’t as sharp as it may have once been; he stumbles through his choice of words and repeats details over and over again every time I see him. But I will always smile and act shocked when he lays out the tale yet again of the enemy arms he was required to sever back in the day. His eyes dart back and forth feverishly as he describes the torn veins, the ripped tissue, the sound of the bones splitting under the chain-saw blade which was apparently so loud, he could hear it over the roar of the motor.

His facial expressions change dramatically under the flashing lights of the club while reliving his past. He often leans forward to yell in my ear, thinking I’m unable to hear him over the music. His breathe always smells of sour beer, what hair remains on his head always matted down in a knot, never combed.

I’ve come to the conclusion that all he wants and really needs is someone to talk to. No pets, no wife, no children – his days are spent mostly alone, probably smoking up a heavy storm in his musty house, watching reruns of old shows he once loved, never getting dressed unless it’s to come to the club.

Of course, these are just guesses but I do know one thing for certain – he appreciates someone who will simply sit down, drown out the world around them, and listen tentatively to what he has to say, even if it’s a bunch of drunken words slurred together with no real meaning. It would make sense why he tips me more than the other dancers who see him tipping me at the table. They’ll flutter up, kiss him on the cheek, flash their chest, and giggle wildly hoping that it will get him excited. He smiles politely, hands them a $5 bill, and turns back to his beer and his story (which he usually starts telling once more from the beginning, forgetting where he had left off ten seconds earlier).

One night he tipped me a total of $220 in twenties and before he left, I gave him a heartfelt hug and thanked him on his way out. A wave of confusion invaded his face as he looked at me in the eyes and asked why I was thanking him. I replied that I enjoyed his company and appreciated the tips. He shook his head for a few seconds, pushed his 50’s style eyeglasses back up his nose with his misshaped pinky, then blurted out that he was the one who should be thanking me. I asked why and he smiled, his lone tooth twinkling against his gums. “You have a good heart and you’re going places, young one. Thanks for letting an old man smile again, even if it’s over trivial things.”

I decided that night that I really like Mack. If I am truly making him happy, I hope I never let him down.

——————————————

^* names have been changed to protect identities, obviously.

I really need to do a better job of looking customers in the eyes when I dance. To all the other dancers out there - how do you do it?