![«[ LilyLeilana.com ]»](http://www.strippermd.com/img/stripperlily.jpg)
«[ LilyLeilana.com ]»
Exotic dancer just sharing her strippin' stories with the world. I've been doing this for four years now just paying my way through college - pre-med biology major. I've seen everything you could imagine (and it just keeps getting better)! Click "About Lily" above for more information & pictures.
☆ LilyLeilana.com | StripperMD.com ☆
Anonymous Asks:
lilyleilana Said:
Why yes, I do!
- @LilyLeilana - my personal stripper account
- @StripperPix - a new account for strippers to send their pictures to
tainteddove Asks:
lilyleilana Said:
Yes, I suffer from this same problem. Money is so tight lately in my club (as I imagine it is everywhere else as well) so girls are doing whatever it takes now to make an extra buck. And I do mean whatever it takes.
I wish there was some easy way to fix this. The problem is that management doesn’t seem to care much because right now we need all the girls we can get (and they’re probably making enough income to live on comfortably themselves so why change). They can only reprimand bad girls a few times for their actions before they would even consider firing them. That’s what I’ve noticed, anyway. How is management at your club? Would they be willing to sit down and have a talk with these not-so-pleasant dancers? It might not hurt talking to them and just explaining your concern and how their actions are affecting your money.
The only thing we can really do is stick to our guns and not give in to peer pressure. We need to cross our fingers that business will pick up soon but more importantly that decent, well-rounded customers will find the way to our stages and not to the girls who are acting raunchy and disgusting. True gentlemen will always spot the diamond in the rough. We just desperately need more of them. :/
Keep your head held high, girl! You definitely chose the right path to take here!
I’ve also been making it a point to really talk my club up and talk about how most of the girls are intelligent as well as sexy. If they ever bring up the name of a dancer who is pure and utter scum, I just smile and reply “I’m sorry, I don’t really know her that well. The girls I hang out with from this club remind me of myself and we’re just ordinary women who love a good conversation and excellent company, such as yourself! So thank you very much for choosing to sit and talk with ME instead of someone else, I really appreciate it.” Not only does this boost their ego, but it also can change the subject pretty quickly if need be. ;)
Keep in contact with me and let me know how it progresses in your club regarding girls quitting.
lilyleilana Said:
I have been out of work for a while due to an ankle injury. :/ I’ve just been sitting at home a lot doing absolutely nothing (which is killing me) but oh well. Just can’t wait to get back to work and make some money, honey! ;D
How have you been, darlin’?
Finally started my FAQ page. If anyone out there has any other questions that haven’t been addressed regarding stripping, send them my way!
Anonymous Asks:
lilyleilana Said:
First of all, is this strip club in the same town as the management firm you work at? If so, don’t do it. Chances are you are going to run into someone there you work with. If you want to strip, try working at a club about an hour away from where you work. I know it sounds bad (all that driving) but it will be worth it because no one will know you and the chances of you seeing a fellow employee will be slim to none.
Yes, stripping can affect your future BUT it depends on the club you decide to work at. If you fill out a W-2 at the club, future employers may be able to see that if they ever run a background check. Basically, if the club keeps track of all their employees and claim you on their taxes, you are on the grid. If you work at a club strictly on tips only and they don’t require you to fill out any tax forms, chances are you will be safe since the government has no way of knowing you’re there and what you’re earning. However, there is another catch here. Some states require dancers to obtain a permit to strip. Contact the club you are thinking about auditioning at to see if this is required, they can help you through the registration process if you decide to do it. Just beware that once you’re registered, it’s no longer a secret.
aliekatkiss Asks:
lilyleilana Said:
Anonymous Asks:
lilyleilana Said:
First of all, if you have the confidence, that is a major plus. Confident girls make way more money that super shy ones.
Hmm, regarding the boobs: to be quite honest, if they are truly that noticeable, you might have some issues with nasty remarks from customers as well as the girls that work there. It’s an unfortunate thing but dancers will look for other flaws in girls, especially if they feel threatened by newcomers. Customers will just be rude no matter what and if they’re drunk, it will only get worse. If you can take the mean comments, I’d say go ahead and try.
Every guy in a strip club has his own preference when it comes to girls’ looks, including their hair. I’ve only worked with one girl who had dreads and to be 100% honest with you, she didn’t do very well money wise. The only guys that would tip her were your typical stoners who never really come in with any money anyway. However, if you can make it a point to be pleasant and talk to every customer, you may not have a problem. Pretty soon they’ll see how funny & smart you are and nothing else will really matter. BUT… let me remind you that this IS an industry based (at first) on looks and you really need to market yourself and your body image. You might have to work a little harder but if you’re up for the challenge, you shouldn’t have any problems.
I think you will know within the first month or two of stripping just how well you might do in the industry.
weedbitch Asks:
lilyleilana Said:
I do my best to never take large stacks of ones to the bank, that can just get annoying! I try to cash in most of my ones at work for bigger bills. I also never take my money inside the bank to deposit it. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m lazy or what but I find it easier to deposit everything via the drive-up tellers. Sometimes it’s a little difficult stuffing all that money in the tube, lol! Buuuuut, it does save you the embarrassment of going inside with a crap ton of bills and having people ask you “oh wow, what do YOU do for a living?!”
I also had a bank employee ask if was a drug dealer once. NOT amused. >:p
Ok. :) So during all my years of stripping, I’ve heard a lot of strange stories from customers. Sometimes I would hear the same story (with minor differences) from different people and pretty soon I learned about many of The Stripper Urban Legends. Other dancers out there will know what I’m talking about - they’re stories we’ve all heard of/told others and we’re not quite sure if they’re true or not because we have no evidence of their origins.
I am about to tell you a story that is NOT an urban legend and is 100% accurate. How do I know? Because I was there and actually witnessed it! I have had so many customers say to me “hey, did you ever hear about a stripper that crapped on a customer?” I’ve even had dancers from out of state tell me they’ve heard this story (again, little details change from person to person but it’s basically the same story). I’m sure it’s quite possible that this has happened at another club (although I really hope not because, well, fuck, read on…)
Yes. I witnessed a stripper SHIT all over a customer during a lapdance.
First of all, this was not at the club I work at now. In fact, it was at a strip club in a major city near me (for privacy reasons and respect, I’m not going to give the name). Second of all, I was not dancing at this club when it happened, I was in there with my friends as a regular customer. I just happened to be sitting right next to their lapdance area and could see & hear everything that was happening inside. Lastly, I do not use drugs (nor condone the use of them) but it is a well known fact that some cocaine is cut with baby laxatives (among other crap). Now that we have the facts straight, let’s continue…
*giggles* So there was a girl twacked out of her gourd in the lapdance area attempting to give a poor customer a lapdance (or what she thought was a lapdance). I couldn’t help but stare because she just kept falling on his lap and the poor guy was so drunk, I don’t even think he really knew where he was, let alone what was going on in front of him.
I leaned forward to an ex-friend of mine sitting at the table who currently danced there and asked why that girl seemed so incoherent. She told me the chick was a notorious drug abuser and had been kicked out of the club countless times for possession of coke, crack and heroin. Apparently she would do so many drugs before her shifts started that there would be times management would find her passed out in the locker room or passed out on some dude’s crotch in their VIP area. Why they continued to let this girl work there is beyond me, but I digress.
I turn back to watch her because, quite frankly, it was amusing as hell! Her eyes were so glazed over, her hair a mess and I swear at one point I saw her drooling. Can’t be too sure but wow, this girl was just GONE, in every sense of the word. She also kept stumbling so finally she decided to take off her heels and try to dance for the guy barefoot.
Suddenly she flew forward in the sitting position away from the customer, about ready to land on her head or smash into the lighted mirrors in front of her. The customer, out of concern, quickly grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back toward his lap. While doing so he quickly asked her “are you ok?” Before she could answer or even sit back down on his lap, an immense amount of liquid diarrhea SPEWED out of her ass ALL OVER the customer’s lap, down his jeans and somewhat up his shirt. We’re talking so much shit, I could have sworn I was witnessing Old Faithful erupting out of some girl’s asshole! What’s worse is it didn’t happen just once. The biggest gush of shit appeared right as he was pulling her back to sit down (so it hit him dead on) and then a second gush of shit flew out the sides of her cheeks once she had firmly planted herself back on this poor gentleman’s lap, already covered with her crap. The force of the fecal matter literally pouring out of this girl’s butthole was so great, it was hitting the sides of the lapdance booth.
So here I am, sitting wide-eyed, hands over my mouth, just STARING at what is unfolding about 20 feet away from me. Before I could even let out a yelp or grab all my friends’ attention to witness such a horrid display of what-the-fuckery, I saw the girl get up slowly off the man’s lap, turn around (diarrhea still finding it’s way out of her g-string and down to the floor) and say to the guy “Oooooh, um, man. Fuck duuuuude, I am soooo sorry. Fuck, just. Fuck. Um, do you want another lapdance for free, I feel so bad…”
The customer is sitting there, probably COMPLETELY sober at this point, sitting in a pool of stinky stripper shit with his arms up above his head as to not touch anymore of it than he has to.
By now I am laughing so hard I’m crying (don’t judge me for that, either! I would have given my right tit implant to have caught that on video on my damn phone)! All my friends have turned and are looking over with their jaws on the floor. Finally my ex-friend calmly stood up and walked over to the DJ booth and whispered something in the DJ’s ear. I watched the color drain from his face and he immediately stopped the music, grabbed the mic and yelled “Hey, Roy*! You are needed in the lapdance area like IMMEDIATELY! Roy, get your ass to the lapdance area… IMMEEDDDDDDIATELY!” *names changed, obviously.
Bouncers were quick to block off the entrance but I could still see inside from the table I was at. I overhead the manager repeatedly apologize to the customer while gagging from the smell. Meanwhile, miss Liquid Bowels was escorted as quickly as possible to the back, wrapped in what looked like one of the sparkly green curtains that draped certain sections of their lapdance booths.
The customer sat in shock for a second, looking up at the gagging manager, then down at his lap full of shit chunks, then back to the manager again.
Here’s what gets me…
“Oh, well, uh, it’s ok, I guess…” he mumbled, still a little confused as to what the hell just happened. “Why don’t you just give me free bottle service and VIP entrance for life and we’ll call it good, ‘aight?”
The manager was very quick to agree!
But then he added “oh… I think I need some new pants, or something.”
By this time, I am seriously cackling like a goddamn hyena. I just could not believe what I just witnessed and I was about ready to ask the manager if I could pay him for the surveillance tape in the lapdance area because, well, there are just NO words. NO WORDS!
I later found out from my ex-friend that Diarrhea Dancer was so fucked up on cocaine (we’re talking way more than usual and using way more than the average person can handle). She was also using a lot Xanax and a few other drugs of choice I can’t remember. But the ex-friend laughed and told me that the coke dealer that sold to her cut his supply with even more baby laxatives than usual because this girl was constantly asking for more, more, more! And believe it or not, she was actually quite an attractive girl. Obviously very sloppy because she was so doped up, but not ugly by any means. So I’m sure she made enough money to buy as much coke as she wanted every single night she worked.
So ladies and gentleman; if you ever hear this story in a strip club from one of the dancers, or if one of your bros ever says he has the best (and most disgusting) stripper tale ever told, or if your friends start a joke with “Once there was a stripper who shat all over a guy…”, you can stop them right there and tell them that it’s a 110% true story and you somewhat “know” the girl who witnessed it all: me!
Stripper Urban Legend #1 (Tale of the Diarrhea Dancer): CONFIRMED.
If any other dancers out there have definitive proof of other stories we’ve all heard about being true, PLEASE feel free to share (or blog about them so I can reblog them for you). This stuff is too funny NOT to pass on. ;)
whysohotbabe Asks:
lilyleilana Said:
Haha yes ma’am, I am typing up the story right now! :)
