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I get asked what beauty products I use and what my beauty secrets are all the time so I figured I would make one giant post containing them all!  Here ya go, folks.  How to look like a stripper.  ;)

★ H-A-I-R ★
Invest in some expensive hairstyling tools.  Sorry ladies, this means nothing from Walmart or Target.  Go to a Sally’s Beauty Supply store and fork out the cash for a decent curling iron and flattening iron.  The difference between cheap vs. high-end hairstyling tools is astonishing, not to mention the fact that the more expensive items tend to last a hell of a lot longer.  You’ll be using them almost every night you work so it’s important to buy something durable and long lasting.

Don’t overdo it with the hair products, especially the hairspray.  And ladies… if you like to tease your hair, do not go all Marge Simpson, please!  I worked with a girl once who teased the living shit out of her hair every night.  Not only did it start to break off really bad, she got made fun of by customers SO much.  It looked so unnatural (and just plain ridiculous).

Keep your hair in good shape.  Get it trimmed regularly (nothing looks worse than a girl who flattens her hair and has super stringy ends).  If you dye or bleach your hair, keep up with it.  After a while, too much outgrowth looks a bit trashy.  Great hair makes a great stripper, I am convinced of this.  I’ve seen girls pull a complete 180 just because they got their roots done.  Customers notice this stuff, too!  And while you’re at it, fork over the cash for some high-end shampoo and conditioner.  Don’t settle for the cheap stuff, your hair will thank you for it later.  This also goes for protective products like leave-in conditioners or straightening gloss.

★ M-A-K-E-U-P ★
You can go cheap with some of the makeup.  Get a nice foundation that lasts all night because you will work up a sweat.  I recommend Double Wear by Estée Lauder.  I have yet to try a better foundation that lasts all night.  When it comes to face powder, blush, eyeliner and mascara, you can go cheap if you’d like.  I’ve tried all the expensive stuff before but Walmart products work just fine in this area.  Sometimes I splurge a little more on mascara (because I hate the feel of the cheap stuff) but only when I can afford it.  Eyeshadow, on the other-hand, is a different story.  Invest in some heavily pigmented eyeshadow because they will last longer and you won’t need to apply as much.  I have always been a devote MAC eyeshadow fan.  I bought all my MAC eyeshadows over four years ago (20+ of them) and have only had to replace about three when they ran out (the ones I use as highlights).  They last forever and the colors are amazing.  I also spent some money on MAC eyeshadow brushes.  I get asked all the time by new girls & girl customers how I learned to blend my eyeshadow so well.  The answer is high quality eyeshadows and good brushes!  The better the brush, the easier it is to blend (as well as apply).  These two go hand-in-hand so don’t short yourself!  Lastly, the one product I cannot do without (and will run out and buy IMMEDIATELY when I’m out) is Urban Decay’s Primer Potion for the eyes.  Your eyeshadow will last all damn night with that stuff, promise!

If you work in a really dark club, it’s ok to go a little heavy with the makeup but never overdo it.  This is bad and this is bad.  This is good (this too).  Don’t try to accomplish looks like these without first investing in some good eyeshadows & brushes and then practicing… A LOT!

I will be the first to admit that I am a complete and utter glitter WHORE.  I don’t care how 90s it is, I love the shit!  But as much as I love anything that sparkles, I try not to overdo it at work.  First of all, most strip clubs frown upon glitter because it can get all over customers (as well as fall all over the club and stick to other dancers).  Secondly, too much can really make you look cheap & like you stepped out of the 6th grade (or a rave).  Seriously ladies, too much glitter is lame and you don’t want to look like you got fucked by a fairy.  I keep the sparkly stuff strictly on my eyes (and in a subtle way).  This is a good example.  Don’t do this shit (or this).  Looking like Ke$ha = NO… unless it’s Halloween.

★ S-C-E-N-T ★
When it comes to perfume, here is some advice I canNOT stress enough:  please, for the love of everything holy on this damn earth, DO NOT BATHE IN IT!  95% of the girls I work with literally douse themselves with perfume or body spray every single time they get off stage or come back inside from smoking.  This is so beyond disgusting, y’all.  You smell horrid and customers HATE this!  Get a nice quality perfume (they last longer and smell better) and only apply them to your pressure points.  Do NOT spray it all over your body and on your crotch!  Overtime we tend to lose the scent of a perfume we overuse.  Just because you can no longer smell it doesn’t mean others can’t!  Also — please stay away from the cheap candy smelling stuff as well as anything from Victoria’s Secret.  I know, I know… I am a VS fan too but every single stripper uses this stuff.  Find something that is unique to you and I guarantee more customers will remember you for it.  That cotton-candy crap is just disgusting and I can’t begin to tell you the number of guys I’ve heard complain about it over the years.  “Oh my God, that girl smells like my 12 year old daughter!”  TURN OFF!

★ S-K-I-N ★
Keep your skin moisturized (no one likes a scaly stripper) but don’t show up to work all oiled up.  It’s gross as well as dangerous to yourself and others on stage and on the pole.  If you like using moisturizer that is the same scent as your perfume, go easy.  You don’t want to reek of B.O. and you don’t want to smell like a Bath & Body Works store exploded all over you but really try to find a happy medium, for everyone’s sake!

Shave well!  We’re all pretty good when it comes to our armpits and legs but strippers need to shave their crotches way more often than other girls.  While waxing is always an option, I personally cannot stand to let my pubic hair grow out for two weeks.  Bleh!!  I had some laser treatments done, which I felt was one of the best investments I’ve ever made.  However, I still get some growth in small areas so here is what I do when shaving down there: never shave over an area twice (this is a super hard habit to break), always use fresh razors, make sure you’re using pretty warm water and a good shaving cream, and take your time!  Now here’s the most important part: go buy some Neosporin Neo To Go! Spray and the second you get out of the shower and dry yourself off, spray this on your crotch (NOT IN IT) and rub it in your skin.  One of the main reasons we get razor bumps is because of ingrown hairs, which sometimes become ingrown because the pores can get clogged with bacteria.  This stuff kills bacteria and keeps your pores clean so ingrown hairs are less likely to happen.  I apply this every time I get out of the shower and I never get razor bumps.  Best stuff ever!  Also - don’t put moisturizer on your vagina.  That will clog up your pores pretty bad.

★ H-A-N-D-S  &  F-E-E-T ★
A lot of girls I work with get acrylic or gel nails applied (which is fine) but I’ve personally found it a lot easier not to go this route, mainly because we do more dancing on stage than anything else at my club.  Having nails break not only hurts, but it’s embarrassing as well!  I just like to paint my nails a nice color every week and keep them clean.  Save the money and hassle of the fake stuff!  It also makes applying makeup, texting and typing a lot easier.  Besides, getting “stripper funk” under fake nails is disgusting and will, without a doubt, grow bacteria.  Stripper funk can be anything in a strip club: gunk from the stages, floors, even customers.  Oh… and on a personal note, this whole trend of the super pointy claw nails: gross.  NO stripper needs to have those, period.  They’re a danger to yourself and your customers, stop that shit!

Take care of your feet.  Stripper shoes are not kind to your toes and can even cause deformities over time.  Mine were a wreck after my first week of dancing and it really freaked me out!  If you get pedicures, get ready to get them more often.  If you don’t, keep them moisturized and clean and rub them from time to time.  I’ve heard YogaToes are a good investment.

★ L-I-V-E  W-E-L-L / H-E-A-L-T-H ★
Over half of the girls I work with smoke (which is truly unfortunate not only because of health issues, but because it friggin’ smells awful).  Stripping can be very stressful and girls who smoke tend to smoke even more at work because of this.  If you can help it in any way, try not to smoke when you’re at the club.  Your skin and hair will smell and look better and overall your health will start to improve.  It’s also pretty gross & sad when a stripper feels the need to smoke every 15 minutes while she’s at work.  Again, this is something customers do notice and if they’re not smokers themselves, it’s a huge turn off.

And here’s some tips we all know (but rarely practice at times):  eat well, exercise daily, don’t drink alcohol, and drink plenty of water!  I could explain the benefits of all of these but you already know them, I’m sure.  I can’t stress the no alcohol rule, though.  It happens every damn time in my club - a girl finally turns 21 and holy shit, alcoholic over night.  Alcohol dries out your skin & hair and obviously destroys your liver.  You’re more likely to say and do things you wouldn’t otherwise do if you weren’t drinking and trust me, that is a BAD thing to let happen in a strip club.  A sloppy stripper is so nasty.  Keep your mind sharp!  A few drinks here and there won’t kill you but if you’re having to drink every night you work or you HAVE to be drunk to dance, the stripping is not for you.

However, the best beauty advice I could ever give when it comes to stripping is to live well and not stress (tips on getting rid of stress at the club will be another post from me in the future).  This is extremely hard to do, I know, we all have hectic lives but a clear mind and heart will do you wonders.  If you’re frustrated, go in the locker room and breathe.  Put some silly pictures of you and friends in your locker.  I have a bunch of pictures and really good motivational quotes in mine and they really do help if they hold meaning to you.  Create an anonymous blog or start a journal and write out your frustrations to get them off your chest.  Whatever you do, do your best not to complain to other girls and ABSOLUTELY DO NOT bitch to customers.  Happy strippers are beautiful strippers, inside and out.  And boy oh boy, does it ever show! ♥

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