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This is always going to be a work in progress but here you go!

[ Last Updated:  Thursday, May 17th - 9:44PM MST ]

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Q:  I am thinking about auditioning at a club.  Any advice?  I am scared of walking around in such high heels and doing pole tricks!  Also, should I be overly nice to the girls who already work there to gain respect?

A:  I would definitely go in the club you are thinking about auditioning at (before you actually audition) and just sit down and watch the other girls perform.  That will give you a good idea of what to expect and give you the chance to pick up on some easy dance moves.

You should definitely start walking around in your stripper shoes at home, lol!  Get a feel of them and make sure you know how to balance yourself.  I walked around in mine about a month before I auditioned because I was so nervous about them!

Don’t worry about doing any hardcore tricks at your audition.  They shouldn’t be required and managers know that as a new girl you won’t have any knowledge of advanced moves, etc.  I personally never do pole tricks - they’re just too dangerous to me.  But on your audition I would never, ever consider doing pole tricks!

Don’t get drunk before you dance; that’s probably the worst thing you can do.  I’ve seen girls take a shot before they audition and that’s not so bad but don’t get plowed to kill the anxiety.

While it’s always important to be polite to girls in a club, you also need to make sure you’re not being TOO polite.  There is such thing as too nice and it’s a common mistake new girls make when they start stripping.  They come in the club and just act so sickeningly sweet to all the other dancers because they’re either scared or in a hurry to make friends.  It’s highly annoying when new girls are chasing you around the club feeding you compliments every two seconds so I would say just be yourself.  Don’t be rude but don’t be a pushover, either.  Somehow you need to find the middle ground.  :)  If you’re too nice, you can actually have dancers turn on you and the shit talking will begin.

Q:  I am going to audition soon and was wondering what it’s like dancing up on stage?  Any tips on how to give a good lap dance?

A:  Dancing on stage is what is going to give you bruises and all those lovely aches and pains most dancers complain about but for me, the stage is awesome.  This is where you get to be an artist, entertain, catch attention, etc.  This is where you truly become a dancer!  I always tell new girls to start off by moving slow, there’s nothing really wrong with that.  Girls that get up there and immediately start dancing like they’re at a club tend to look a little awkward and silly (unless they’re professional and have been doing it for a while).  I would also watch how other girls dance and pick up some of their moves.  This can be highly controversial because some girls think they “own” certain dance moves and that’s not true.  We all learn from one another so if you see something you like, try it!  Obviously don’t get up there and try to copy someone else’s entire routine but watch for the little things that catch you eye and give them a shot!

Biggest thing to remember about stage dancing: you’re not going to be able to dance like every other stripper there on your first night so don’t worry about doing moves “wrong.”  You’ll pick up on it very quickly!

Now… lap dances.  This is where I really can’t help you much.  We aren’t allowed to do lap dances at my club, only private dances and there’s this whole no-touching, three-foot-rule.  But I’ve had plenty of lap dances performed on me, if that counts!  I would say don’t straight up slam your body into the customer.  Don’t get me wrong, some guys like that, but I think it’s a safe bet to be more sexy and sensual than anything else.  It’s all about teasing.  I got a lap dance from a girl once who kept grinding and grinding and griiiiinding on me, like that is all she knew how to do!  And then she slammed all her body weight onto my lap and it kind of hurt, not sexy at all.  Make eye contact, smile your sexiest smile, move slow, bite your lower lip a couple of times when you know he’s looking, maybe let out a little sigh in his ear (he’ll think you’re loving it just as much as he is).

Q:  What do they look for when hiring a stripper?  What do real strippers look like?  I am worried I don’t have the perfect body for dancing.

A:  Oh man, girl!  There is no such thing as the “perfect body,” trust me!  ;)  Every single girl out there stripping has some sort of flaw they hate, I don’t care how gorgeous they are.  I could write you a book of flaws I find in myself.

“Real strippers” look like everyday women you’d see walking down the street, not what you see in the movies!  Sure, you’ll have a few model-esque girls working with you and girls who’ve had so much plastic surgery they look like they’re going to melt under the stage lights but not all the dancers look like them.  Guys that come into strip clubs definitely want sexy but sexy doesn’t mean botox and fake tits.  If you are confident and smile and have a great attitude, I promise you that you will go far and do very well.  :)  You seem very intelligent as well and that is a big plus!  You will be able to hold conversations with ease and guys will feel comfortable with you.

The reason most strippers look so pretty is because of the time and energy we put into makeup, good costumes and high heels (and the dark lights of the club, lol).  Customers joke with me all the time and ask if people just stare at me on the street because I’m “so beautiful.”  I always laugh and tell them that I definitely don’t look this way outside of the club; that I’m actually a huge nerd with glasses, hair always in a ponytail, etc.  I’ve even showed some customers I’ve gotten to know over the years a normal everyday picture of me on my cell phone and they’re always shocked.  We strippers are great entertainers and fantastic fuckin’ artists (especially when it comes to makeup).  And if you’re not, trust me… you will be!

Now… having said that I need to add this little bit: if you don’t take care of your body, you obviously won’t do well as other girls you work with.  Meaning if you go out and eat McDonald’s everyday and have an entire chocolate cake for dessert when you go to your favorite restaurant then yeah, all the confidence in the world may not save you.  I’m by no means saying bigger girls don’t make money (because they definitely do) but complete slobs who obviously don’t take care of themselves do not.

Q:  I want to try stripping but I am concerned I may be overweight.  I am currently working on losing weight but do you have any advice?

A:  If your weight is on your mind 100% of the time, I would say that right now stripping may not be the right choice for you.  As a dancer you’re going to be walking around in skimpy little outfits trying to sell an image to customers and if you don’t have any confidence in yourself, you won’t survive very long in the club.

However, if you’re a good people person, well-spoken, can smile, hold a conversation, and aren’t afraid of approaching men to chat, you might be just fine.  I guess my point is that there has to be some level of confidence in you to start dancing.  When I first started I was super worried that I was too heavy but I ended up doing just fine.  Sometimes it’s really just all in your head.

I know it’s not really the answer you want to hear but the truth is you will never know until you just go and audition.  If you find out it’s not what you expected, you can easily quit, no biggie.  I would suggest definitely going into a few clubs and just observing for a bit to see what types of girls they hire.  Some clubs have a lot of variety when it comes to dancers while others are verrrrry specific about the girls they hire (i.e., no visible tattoos, have to be tan, makeup and hair always have to be done, etc.).

Whatever you do, pleeeease don’t start starving yourself just to start stripping.  I have seen girls do this so much at my club and it’s absolutely disgusting.  Their bodies get broken down like crazy due to lack of nutrition and they just burn out.

Another handy tip is dress appropriately if you get hired.  If you know you’re a littler curvier than most girls, don’t prance around in a little bikini or micro booty shorts.  To me there is nothing more unflattering than a new girl who thinks she can wear any stripper outfit in the world.  Some outfits just DO NOT work for certain girls, big or skinny.  If you feel really uncomfortable in the outfit and keep tugging at it or readjusting yourself, then it’s probably not the best outfit for you to wear.

Q:  How do you keep your hair and makeup so flawless all night while dancing?

A:  Honestly, you’re probably going to be doing a loooot of touch-ups throughout the night, lol!  I wish my hair and makeup stayed beautiful during my entire shift but alas, I’m constantly in the locker room reapplying powder and checking my hair.  I will say this, though:  if you flatten your hair with a decent flat iron, you won’t need to really mess with it much throughout the night.  It’s when you have your hair curly that you might have to heat up the ol’ curling iron and put some spring back into it.

Also, the first week or so of dancing you’ll probably feel more of a mess.  Since you’re new to it, you’ll feel more sweaty and tired (and trust me, you will be) so touch-ups will be more frequent.  Once you get used to dancing, you won’t be bothered with it as much.  I work with a girl who has been doing this for about 14 years now and I hardly ever see her go in the back for touch-ups during the night and her hair and makeup stay flawless from start to finish!

I would also recommend investing in some decent makeup and hair tools.  Like I mentioned above, a decent flat iron and curling iron make such a difference, it’s not even funny.  And this is ESPECIALLY true for makeup, oh my God!  See the FAQ further below for my beauty product recommendations.

Q:  I want to be a secret stripper by night but I work for a big company.  Is this a good idea?  Will stripping affect my future (i.e., background checks)?

A:  First of all, is this strip club in the same town as the management firm you work at?  If so, don’t do it.  Chances are you are going to run into someone there you work with.  If you want to strip, try working at a club about an hour away from where you work.  I know it sounds bad (all that driving) but it will be worth it because no one will know you and the chances of you seeing a fellow employee will be slim to none.

Yes, stripping can affect your future BUT it depends on the club you decide to work at.  If you fill out a W-2 at the club, future employers may be able to see that if they ever run a background check.  Basically, if the club keeps track of all their employees and claim you on their taxes, you are on the grid.  If you work at a club strictly on tips only and they don’t require you to fill out any tax forms, chances are you will be safe since the government has no way of knowing you’re there and what you’re earning.  However, there is another catch here.  Some states require dancers to obtain a permit to strip.  Contact the club you are thinking about auditioning at to see if this is required, they can help you through the registration process if you decide to do it.  Just beware that once you’re registered, it’s no longer a secret.

Q:  What should every stripper carry in her work bag?

A:  This varies on the girl but I think the true necessities are:

• Your outfits (or leave them in a locker at the club if you have one)
• Mouthwash, mints and/or gum
• Deodorant and perfume
• Bandaids
• Makeup & hairspray
• A disposable razor (for when you notice spots you may have missed)
• Hair ties or bobby pins if you use them regularly
• Contact wash & eye drops for you contact wearers

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